SIR FRITZHOLM HAMMERMILL
Hola Amigos, I know it's been a while since I rapped at ya, but things have been kinda crazy around here.
First off, I figured that if we were going to the Rock of Bral sometime soon I'd better load up on lumber. There are barely any trees on Bral, and it's illegal to cut those down, so they're always hurting for lumber. Plus, we'd need some to repair The Far Seer. I hired a small crew of 5 and got ready to set off into the woods to gather raw materials. This didn't turn out as easy as I had planned. Riaa is split up into parcels of land owned by various royal families, merchants, and knights. In order to cut trees I'd need to pay fees and get permission from the owner. Even that turned out to be a pain! Luckily, I'm just swimming in gold these days, so I found a nice little remote section of forest with a stream and a mill and bought it directly from the prince's estate. The land is too far from any of their building projects, and hasn't been in use for almost a generation. They were pretty happy to sell it.
OK now here's the cool part. Purchasing land from the prince allows me to be knighted. How cool is that? It's not official yet, but soon I'll be SIR FRITZHOLM HAMMERMILL!
Still no word on the mysterious star gem. The mages say it's a holy artifact and that it's a magical power source of some sort, but it has so far been unindentifiable. They better not charge me full price!
So here's what I did. I took a digital picture of the gem and posted it on alt.relic.unknown let's see who figures it out first, the mages or the netizens.
The other good news is about the piracy charges. My jurist told me the charges have all been dropped and I'm free to leave the planet at will. He wanted to countersue on some grounds or another, but I told him to cease and desist. FRITZHOLM HAMMERMILL is not here to file a bunch of grievances and hassle the government, he's here to save the day and sell goods at reasonable prices!
First off, I figured that if we were going to the Rock of Bral sometime soon I'd better load up on lumber. There are barely any trees on Bral, and it's illegal to cut those down, so they're always hurting for lumber. Plus, we'd need some to repair The Far Seer. I hired a small crew of 5 and got ready to set off into the woods to gather raw materials. This didn't turn out as easy as I had planned. Riaa is split up into parcels of land owned by various royal families, merchants, and knights. In order to cut trees I'd need to pay fees and get permission from the owner. Even that turned out to be a pain! Luckily, I'm just swimming in gold these days, so I found a nice little remote section of forest with a stream and a mill and bought it directly from the prince's estate. The land is too far from any of their building projects, and hasn't been in use for almost a generation. They were pretty happy to sell it.
OK now here's the cool part. Purchasing land from the prince allows me to be knighted. How cool is that? It's not official yet, but soon I'll be SIR FRITZHOLM HAMMERMILL!
Still no word on the mysterious star gem. The mages say it's a holy artifact and that it's a magical power source of some sort, but it has so far been unindentifiable. They better not charge me full price!
So here's what I did. I took a digital picture of the gem and posted it on alt.relic.unknown let's see who figures it out first, the mages or the netizens.
The other good news is about the piracy charges. My jurist told me the charges have all been dropped and I'm free to leave the planet at will. He wanted to countersue on some grounds or another, but I told him to cease and desist. FRITZHOLM HAMMERMILL is not here to file a bunch of grievances and hassle the government, he's here to save the day and sell goods at reasonable prices!
posted by fritzholm at 2:31 PM
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